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it's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness [entries|friends|calendar]

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[19 Feb 2009|03:23pm]
yesterday was the hardest and worst day of my life.

i'm so glad today is a new day. and i will never have to do that again.
stab me in the back

[21 Oct 2008|05:15pm]
"Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish." -c.p.

this pretty much sums it up.
what i do.
i've met some great people by taking risky chances.
stab me in the back

remembering who i used to be [13 Jul 2008|01:54am]
[ mood | restless ]

sooo i somehow stumbled upon my livejournal today.
i have tried to forget the way i was when i was posting a lot of this shit.
maybe i'm not supposed to forget.

but some of the feelings are still in me and i'm afraid they'll never go away.

stab me in the back

[20 Aug 2006|12:44pm]
wow. i never got on livejournal anymore.

2 |stab me in the back

were kissing without kissing and have it down to a fine art [28 Feb 2006|05:01pm]
[ mood | content ]

I'm feeling really good about myself and my future because I've finally settled the age-old question that EVERY adult I come in contact with asks: "Where are you going to school next year?"

The answer my friends is the University of Arizona.

[I'd also like to add that I am seriously happy. Thanks to one individual.]

stab me in the back

take it back to square one [24 Jan 2006|03:10pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

why do people have to be so investigatory?

who really cares?

i dont understand why i feel like i have to think like a criminal to do one simple thing.

stab me in the back

this is the price you pay for loss of control [17 Jan 2006|09:23am]
[ mood | grumpy ]

It is 9:23 this rather cloudy and ugly Tuesday morning and I am waiting for my dad to come pick me up to spend the day with him. EUCHK. I am not looking forward to this day whatsoever. I may need to call in backup from the troops. Too bad some of them are in a different damn state.

stab me in the back

eat this up. [05 Jan 2006|05:38pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

[so today in philosophy my teacher handed us a packet which contains what we need to do for our final--which is making a statement in some form of what our personal philosophies are. the front page of this packet really struck me for some reason and ive decided to post it even if no one looks at it. its simply beautiful.]

philosophy is complicated. metaphysics.
idealism. existentialism. transcendentalism.
ethics. morality. aesthetics.
plato's cave.

philosophy is simple. the human touch. love.
a perfect baseball game. the last day of school.
falling in love. doing the right thing.
seeing beauty in a simple life.
plato's cave.

somewhere in the middle is your personal life philosophy.

the danger is not that you might fail to answer the questions life has to offer.
the danger is that you might fail to try.

you are an adult now.
it is time to figure out who you are,
dont you think?

5 |stab me in the back

[31 Dec 2005|02:45pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

I had the whole world in my hands, but i gave it away...
I had the whole world in my hands, but i gave it away...

Gave it away.

I'm a half-wit boy, crackin a smile and wearing it all on my sleeve.

So cruel, so poise
Its true, im just around to see
Where this thing goes
I'll never know, but all i know is
I'm back in bed
It's a remedy, its a remedy.

This time i'd be nervous 'cause i cant see your hands
Infront of me... (infront of me...)
Tonight, ive spoken.
I'll pretend to want and think of what we should be
What liars we can be.

I'm on my way to the top of the world,
And i've got a feeling i'll give it away.
Im on my way to the top of the world,
And i've got a feeling i'll give it away.

Shes a maveric, shes so smooth...
If things go according to plan, i'll have her finished by five a.m.
Theres no turning back, theres no second chance,
Ive already got both feet through the door
And i can taste the air, i can taste the air.

This time I'll be nervous 'cause I can't see your hands in front of me
(In front of me tonight)
Let's forget all pretense of what they thought we should be
What liars we can be.

Make a sound, its safe for you,

Choking here, alone.

Whatever i say goes (whatever i say goes)

You're not everything, you're not here with me

[sooo i got my nose peirced and...thats basically the new news. im bored, and new years is going to be very uneventful compared to last year. i was listening to this underoath song last night and the lyrics are just really good. they just make a lot of sense to me. hope everyone (that is those who will even see this, which is no one) has a happy and healthy new year!!]

stab me in the back

if that aint love then i dont know what love is [05 Nov 2005|06:08pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]




day after


stab me in the back

it's so easy to fall in love [18 Aug 2005|05:51pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

i saw clay for the last time until thanksgiving today.
we officially are not staying together.

ive been crying for days - i dont know if there is anything left to cry.

and although i am so grateful for what we had...

i feel so utterly empty.

stab me in the back

[03 Aug 2005|12:05pm]
[ mood | sad ]


i changed my screen name...


is now where you can reach me.

stab me in the back

she'll fuck you just for the taste [24 Jul 2005|10:32am]
[ mood | sore ]

Yesterday was Warped Tour.

It was so much fun!

We saw:

[+]All American Rejects
[+]My Chemical Romance
[+]Senses Fail
[+]The Offspring
[+]The Spill Canvas
[+]Fall Out Boy

The best? Atreyu, MCR and Emery. By far.

And I'm still grinning!

stab me in the back

theres something in the way you laugh, that makes me feel like a child [15 Jul 2005|12:49pm]
[ mood | restless ]


im bored, and im ordering some stuff and the website is taking a long time to load so i decided to write something that is pointless and that no one shall read. :)

yeah. i have to go to work at 2 until....probably 11:30-12. doesnt that suck?

why yes.

and clay left me to go see his brother in iowa--so i miss him :(

<3 <3

2 |stab me in the back

[09 Jul 2005|03:38pm]
[ mood | calm ]

today i am 18 years of age.

my mom came in my bathroom this morning while i was putting on make up and told me:

"now lauren, you have to be careful because now that youre of age people can rape you and they can say you consented even if you were drugged."

oh my god.


2 |stab me in the back

hello!!!! [08 Jul 2005|11:45am]
[ mood | excited ]

tomorrow i turn


which means that....nothing really changes but, sweet anyway!

hope everyone who even looks at this is doing well...!

<3 xoxo

stab me in the back

my little chemical romance left a bad taste in my mouth [17 Jun 2005|12:23pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

clay comes home tomorrow!!!
[i miss him]

the only reason ive had time to even think
about lj is because
he isn't here...sad that i have no life huh?


2 |stab me in the back

[15 Jun 2005|01:01pm]
[ mood | loved ]

oh how could i survive
without your love
and the hope you breath
even when the sky is falling down
i know i have you
that's all i need

lately ive been hoping you could stay with me
and i could hold
you close until the end of time
maybe someday we will grab some change
and run away

stab me in the back

there's no turning back tonight ... so kiss me one last time [29 Apr 2005|03:43pm]
[ mood | jubilant ]

Prom is next weekend...


I actually am though...Clay = AMAZING.
This morning he took me to breakfast (cuz we both didn't go to school). It was so much fun.

The cat is meowing at my feet and it's really pissing me off so...I'm leaving.


1 |stab me in the back

french field trips are BADASS [14 Apr 2005|02:47pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Today was seriously so fun.
We left school at like 8:15 and drove to the city and ate at this nice French restaurant...so yummy.

Then we went to the Art Institute and Andrew, Nick, Asad, Pearl and I screwed around...filled out some worksheet. We got some funny pictures, so they'll follow. :) The best part was the bus rides though...Zach was yelling shit out the windows. Ahhh today was seriously one of the best days I've had in school or for school lately.

Oh and PS...Clay somehow fixed my un-working stereo. His magic touch. I swear.

Laaaaa....now I'm bored.

stab me in the back

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